Here’s Your Sign

It’s been a real fractured time since I wrote my 1st article on November 1st.  There is no lack of theatrics hurled our way.  We’ve got Trumpublicans, conspiracy theorists, thugs, Q-Quacks, rioters, insurrectionists and other stupid people that are unidentifiable.  What we really need is a way to identify these wackos from a distance before we have to interact with them, you know, someone like a clean-up hitter with tools of the trade to step in and run interference for us. Is there such a paragon of proclivity that can give us a “heads up” ahead of time?  As a matter of fact, there is and some of you may know him as the “here’s your sign guy,” Bill Engvall.  I tell ya, he’s our savior.  I bet he’ll be glad to do it, he just hates stupid people.  We set him loose around the country handing out his stupid people signs and what a relief it will be for the rest of us.  We will automatically know who to ignore at any moment’s notice. Too bad he wasn’t there on January 6th to hand out his signs.

Can you imagine how it would have looked like with all those signs hanging around hundreds and hundreds of necks on that infamous day?  Another great identifier would have been all those Trump flags made up as stupid signs waving in the breeze, or maybe not as either name would have served the purpose.  Same with the guy with the Confederate flag.  Some folks though, didn’t need a sign as they stuck out like a turd in a swimming pool.  Best example there was Buffalo Bill with the furs, horns and leggings and his face shaded in red, white and blue.  A sign on that guy would have been redundant.  Best give it to someone more in need where it wouldn’t overstate the obvious.  Bill Engvall would have had a real hectic time of it.  To save time, he probably would have bypassed all those red MAGA cappers since they would be pretty well self-explanatory and no need to bother that clean cut hippie dude with the skull & bones Camp Auschwitz sweatshirt.  Bill also would have been able to skirt all the obvious dedicated followers of fashion with the self identifying labels that are too many to mention here.

Now we come to the crux of stupidity of magnanimous proportions.  Even Bill’s signs would be quite superfluous for these idiots since a picture can paint a thousand words.  I’m talking about all those shithead selfies that ended up being confiscated as evidence and making the F.B.I.’s job a little easier.  The lame brains who mystify me the most are that Texas nut job running around doing a video selfie advertising herself as Jenna Ryan, available for all your real estate needs and Garret Miller who posted selfies as to how he wanted to incriminate himself.  When the F.B.I. went to pick him up, he was wearing an “I Was There” t-shirt.  Gee, I wonder if they let him put the cuffs on himself.  They and hundreds of others like them have deemed themselves worthy and should be proud to wear one of Bill’s signs.  Truth be known, I don’t think there would have been enough signs that day.  I forgot about most of the Republican Legislators that were already in residence that day, you know who they are, they’re like all the other bad guys who weren’t wearing masks.  Stay tuned…..!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The McGrinch That Stole Your Stimulus

I disagreed with my wife just now, something that I never do, since the repercussions are quite disturbing.  Here’s what went down.  She stated that Mitch McConnell can’t stoop any lower into the depravity he wallows in.  I stood tall, took a deep breath, looked her right in the eye and spewed out “Yes he can!”  It was a moment frozen in time and then she smiled.   No systematic repercussions followed.  Whew!  Now, as a politician, he has a certain inalienable right to say one thing and mean another, or to talk out of two sides of his mouth, but Mitcheroo, has the extraneous ability to talk out of two faces.  Unfortunately, those two faces resemble both Scrooge and The Grinch.  Isn’t it easy for someone with a net worth of $22,200,000 to stand at a podium in the hallowed halls of Congress and object to raising the stimulus check amount from $600.00 to $2,000.00?  Then there’s Pat Toomey, R-Pennsylvania, who said there are too many citize...
Read more

Uncommon Failure

Okay, I’ll let you all be the judge and jury of the following statement that I came across that was buried in the dark corners of the internet where I usually find my strange and highly unusual articles of confoundation.  This is a Los Angeles Times letter to the editor ( https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2021-04-12/huntington-beach-ku-klux-klan ) about the “burb” of Huntington Beach.  Headline: “Common ground with the Ku Klux Klan?  Huntington Beach has a problem.”  The letter starts off with, “As Huntington Beach was preparing for a Ku Klux Klan rally and, in response, a Black Lives Matter counter protest, police department spokesman Lt. Brian Smith said,” now here’s the kicker, “We hope that they can utilize events like this as a means to find the common ground and work together for the common goal.”  ???  I thought I would substitute the usual WTF that usually follows an incredulous statement like that with question marks.  I never pass up the ...
Read more

The New Cult

Past cult leaders the likes of Sun Myung Moon, David Koresh and Jim Jones, exemplary role models for “Moonies”, “Davidians” and “Peoples Templers” are said to have had a charismatic  gift of gab and were able to ensnarl a whole slew of followers into their realm.  They, of course, have since passed into the great beyond.  Moon was 92 when he died of pneumonia, Korish was 33 when he and his zealots died with guns blazing and Jones 47, died with his lemmings from a bad dose of kool-aid.  There was a rumor going around that his last words were, “Hey, did someone spike this stuff!”   Like Stalin, Hitler and Atilla the Hun, these folks had the innate ability to sway the masses.  To this day, I still can’t figure out how.  I was more enamored with garden slugs than those “coots.”  Nowadays, we have a new malady in our midst, an anomaly if you will, who not only doesn’t have a gift of gab, but cannot even enunciate words correctly, uses alternative facts...
Read more